Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, is a popular and effective form of talk therapy that focuses on the relationship between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. It’s like having a mental toolbox filled with practical strategies to help you deal with life’s challenges in a healthier way. The idea behind CBT is that the way we think about a situation greatly influences how we feel and what we do. Sometimes, these thoughts can become distorted or unhelpful, and that’s where CBT steps in—to help you recognize, challenge, and change those patterns.

Imagine you’re walking down the street and someone you know doesn’t wave back when you greet them. Your immediate thought might be, “They’re ignoring me; they must not like me.” That thought could lead to feelings of sadness or rejection, and maybe you’d avoid them the next time you see them. In reality, though, they might not have even noticed you because they were distracted. CBT helps you spot those automatic thoughts that might not be accurate and teaches you how to question them. It’s not about ignoring your feelings but about seeing the bigger picture and responding in a way that feels more balanced and constructive.

A big part of CBT involves becoming more aware of your inner dialogue. It’s like turning up the volume on your thoughts so you can really hear what’s going on in your mind. Often, we’re so used to our thought patterns that we don’t even notice when they’re negative or unhelpful. CBT encourages you to pause and ask, “Is this thought really true? Is there another way to look at this?” Over time, this practice can help shift your perspective, which can have a profound effect on your emotions and actions.

CBT is also about experimenting and testing out new behaviours. Let’s say you have a fear of public speaking. Instead of avoiding it altogether, a CBT approach might involve gradually exposing yourself to situations where you speak in front of others, starting small and building up over time. Along the way, you’d work on reframing thoughts like, “I’m going to embarrass myself” into something more supportive, like, “I might feel nervous, but I’ve prepared well and can handle this.” These small shifts can make a big difference in how you approach challenges.

One of the things that makes CBT so appealing is its focus on the here and now. While understanding past experiences can be important, CBT is more interested in what’s happening in your life right now and what you can do to create positive changes moving forward. It’s practical and action-oriented, giving you tools you can use immediately to start feeling better.

Your thoughts, feelings, physical sensations and actions are interconnected, and negative thoughts and feelings can trap you in a viscous cycle. CBT aims to crack this cycle by breaking down overwhelming problems into smaller parts and showing you how to change these negative patterns to improve the way you feel.

Our brains are tricksters and we need to challenge the distorted thinking (caused by the nervous system being in a dysregulated state - it makes the brain look for potential threats where there really are none).

Here is a simple CBT exercise to give you a taste of what it’s all about…

Throughout the day, if you catch yourself worrying, make a note of the worry in the notes section on your phone.

You are then not allowed to worry about the worry until an allocated worry time. Worry time is a time you choose where you will not be disturbed for 15 minutes. At that designated time of the day you are allowed to worry for 15 minutes.

Get your list of worries out and have a good old worry about them if you want to.

Are they as much of a worry now as they were earlier in the day?

This first half of the exercise is often enough to show you you can't believe everything you think.

Now try separating your worries into hypothetical worries eg. "I may have something wrong with me", and practical worries eg. "I'm worried I will forget to...".

If it is a practical worry, take some practical action to prevent it, such as making a reminder in your phone.

If it is a hypothetical worry, try holding up to scrutiny against these 10 cognitive distortions...

Is it possible you are leaning towards any of these top 10 Cognitive Distortions - PATTERNS of THINKING that mess with our heads and cause stress/worry:

  1. All-or-Nothing Thinking: Someone is either your best friend or the devil incarnate - ie there is no middle ground.
  2. Over Generalization: Seeing one failure as a never ending pattern of defeat. "I failed the driving test, therefore it must mean I am a failure".
  3. Mental Filter: This is when we spot the negatives of a situation and filter out the postives.
  4. Disqualifying the Positive: Out of several compliments you focus on the one critique.
  5. Jumping to Conclusions: Didn’t get a text back? Obviously, they’re not interested in you.
  6. Magnification (Catastrophizing) or Minimization: Making mountains out of molehills, or molehills out of mountains.
  7. Emotional Reasoning: Feeling anxious? That must mean you're in imminent danger of...something!!
  8. Should Statements: “I should be perfect.” Thanks, inner Sergeant Bash!
  9. Labeling and Mislabeling: One misstep and you're officially an idiot, bad, a loser.
  10. Personalization: You are responsible for the universe’s problems.

Well done - you have just started your journey towards positive beliefs about yourself and your life. Our beliefs and attitudes are everything when it comes to creating the life we want.

At its heart, CBT is about giving you the skills to become your own therapist. The goal isn’t to make you dependent on therapy but to equip you with lifelong tools to navigate life’s ups and downs with resilience and clarity. It’s a collaborative process, where you and your therapist work as a team, and as you start to see the results—feeling calmer, more confident, or more in control—it can be a truly transformative experience.